Gottman Therapy: Because Love Shouldn’t Feel Like a Battle
Every couple disagrees, but some conflicts feel endless. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach is backed by 40+ years of research on what makes relationships succeed—or fall apart.
Strengthen your friendship and deepen intimacy in Mombasa or Online.
When Disagreements Feel Like Endless Loops
Every couple has disagreements—whether it’s about money, intimacy, chores, or even how to load the dishwasher. But for some, these conflicts begin to feel heavy and repetitive.
The Looping Argument
Having the same fight over and over, where neither person feels heard and nothing ever truly gets resolved.
Language Barriers
Feeling like you and your partner aren't even speaking the same language anymore, leading to constant misunderstanding.
The Goal of Connection
Wondering if you've lost the "friendship" part of your marriage and feeling more like roommates than partners.
The Gottman Difference: Unlike therapies that focus only on fixing fights, we help you strengthen your friendship, deepen intimacy, and build a lasting connection. The goal isn’t just to fight less—it’s to feel more secure.
It’s Not Conflict That Kills Relationships—
It’s How You Handle It
Dr. John Gottman could predict with over 90% accuracy whether a couple would stay together or break up just by watching how they argued. He identified four toxic patterns that act as predictors of relationship failure.
Criticism
Attacking your partner’s character instead of the issue.
"You never listen" vs. "I feel unheard."
Defensiveness
Reacting with excuses or blame-shifting to avoid responsibility.
"I only did that because YOU were rude first."
Stonewalling
Shutting down, checking out, or refusing to engage when things get heated.
Contempt
Sarcasm, eye-rolling, or treating your partner with disrespect. The #1 predictor of breakups.
The Good News: Gottman Therapy helps you replace these toxic patterns with healthy "Antidotes" before resentment takes over.
Strengthening the Friendship Foundation
Couples who stay happy aren’t just good at conflict resolution—they’re good at friendship. We help you rebuild your relationship by improving emotional connection, bringing back laughter, and practicing small daily gestures of appreciation.
The 5-Step Repair Formula
No relationship is fight-free. The key is knowing how to repair afterward. Try this formula the next time things get heated:
Pause Take a breath or a walk before things spiral.
Express Need “I need to feel heard, not dismissed.”
Take Ownership “I was snippy earlier, and that wasn’t fair.”
Validate “I understand why you felt that way.”
Reconnect A hug, a joke, or a shared snack.
Turning Toward
Turning Away
Turning Toward Instead of Turning Away
Every day, couples make small "bids" for connection—tiny moments where they reach out emotionally. It could be a comment about a dream, a shared meme, or mentioning the sunset.
The Research: Happy couples respond to these bids 86% of the time. Struggling couples only respond 33% of the time. These "micro-rejections" add up over years to create deep resentment.
Try this today:
- Engage instead of ignoring: Put down your phone for 60 seconds.
- Notice the reach-out: Acknowledge the small things your partner shares.
Managing Conflict Instead of Trying to "Win"
Did you know that 67% of relationship conflicts are unsolvable? Most fights are about deep-rooted differences in personality or values. The goal isn’t perfect agreement—it’s learning how to disagree in a way that keeps you close instead of pushing you apart.
De-escalation
Learn how to stop the "spiral" before a discussion turns into a blow-up.
Finding Compromise
Discover the "Two Circles" method to find common ground while respecting individual needs.
Shared Meaning
Create rituals of connection and shared goals that give your relationship deep purpose.
Love isn’t just about finding the right person.
It’s about learning how to love in a way that actually works. Let's build something lasting, together.
Available in Nyali or via secure video across Kenya.